He kept trying to convince me and said it would be like his late family could live again through our daughter. Still, I just want our daughter to be her own person and not feel like she’s growing up in the shadow of 2 deceased people.
John got mad and accused me of forcing him to act like Isabel, and Rose never existed. I said that wasn’t true and that we would still talk about them and remember them with our daughter, but he said the best way to remember them would be to name our daughter after them. He also called me a hypocrite because I suggested my sister’s name(my sister is alive) as a middle name.
I said that was different because our child would still have her unique first name, and I only suggested it because my sister plans on being a loving aunt. Finally, he called me disrespectful of the dead and said he wouldn’t change his mind. He went to our room and hadn’t come out.
I consulted my family and friends, and while most agree I’m not TA, a couple of them say John is grieving and I should just let him name this kid, and I can call the next one. One friend, a therapist, even said that this is John’s attempt to ease his guilty conscience and that refusing the name could make him spiral into self-loathing.
I’ve also started to get Facebook messages from people I’m assuming are Isabel’s family (John most likely told them about the situation), begging me to name my daughter after Isabel because they want another way to memorialize her. I hate to disappoint her family since they’re grieving too, but I still don’t want to. Am I being selfish?
