The most important decision a couple makes is getting married. But before you step on the crazy stone, there is one crucial thing to know.
Social psychologist Al Finkel is the author of the book ALL OR NOTHING MARRIAGE. He thinks it is essential for a couple to be compatible before deciding to get married. Finding a compromise is a significant factor in not getting divorced. The big reason people want to get married is their belief that they are compatible with each other.
But, this decision is influenced by how many years the couple has been together. Their lives and future will be very different from their first years together. But, the fact they are getting along now doesn’t mean it will stay like that for the next three or five years.
If your goals are different and if the two of you want other things from life, then your relationship will probably not last for a long time. So Finkel thinks it is important to ask yourselves one question: HOW CAN WE WORK ON US BEING MORE IN SYNC? He came to a conclusion that there are two things we can do:
1. MOTIVATION
The person has to decide whether the relationship is meaningful enough, even if their goals and partners’ goals are not the same. What is important is the effort, making sacrifices, and finding a compromise – things that a relationship needs to grow strong.
2. CAPABILITY
If you expect deep talks with your partner or for him to be great at tennis, maybe they are bad at these things.
You should not make a big deal out of these things, because it is something you can do with your friends. However, before getting married, you have to know that maybe there are things both of you are not good at or that some things will change. You just have to accept that and make the most out of it.
