Maybe you are afraid of bonding or don’t want to look like a fool by falling for any man you meet.
Every time a man starts acting out when he starts giving you too much attention or starts being too nice, you think of it as strange. He must be treating every woman like that. This is a way to protect your heart since you have trust issues. Do not worry. It is not your fault; you were just severely hurt in the past.
He played you when you thought are about to get real. You accepted this with a fake smile, but you have built walls around your heart to protect it.
You have never been in a real relationship. You had some tries. Most of the time, they have played you. The other times, you raised the walls and didn’t let the boy meet you. You need to believe that someone can love you – genuinely, without any hidden agenda.
You don’t believe someone can like you that way. You don’t feel worthy of love. You don’t think someone wants to stay by your side. You don’t feel like you could be good enough.
Or maybe you don’t want to believe these things. This way, you don’t have any expectations and cannot get disappointed.
Self-love is enough, and the love from your family and friends gets you through. But, sometimes you do wonder what if?
What if I let someone in? What if I gave someone a chance? What could have happened if I hadn’t run away or started a friendship first?
Should I have been brave enough even if they hurt me? What would happen if I told him I liked him and he was everything I wanted? Should I have pushed my pride aside and texted him first? I should have told him I had fallen in love. Maybe he felt the same way.
All these questions can bring you back to your past, but you end up in a circle. Someone comes along, and you feel the connection, but you run away.
This time you want things to be different. You want it all to be obvious, and you want to feel something you never felt before. You want the good and the bad things that a relationship brings. But, on the other hand, you are afraid of being played again.
The worst thing is you might have let the right one get away because you were too afraid.